Id split men in to two categories, angels and assholes. My dear friends, have married angels. For some reason, the assholes keep finding me. Yesterday, I had a friendship ending fight with my latest ex asshole. And when another woman witnesses the ex asshole fight, her duty is to make drinks available, plentiful and quickly. Thats exactly what Jennifer did. She took my hand, calmed me reassuring me that Ive been living in a play pen and its time to get out with the big kids. We met her boyfriend (angel) at a bar in Union Square and had a fantastic time. Not 20 minutes into the night I step outside to bum a cigarette from some random dude to help calm my nerves. Said random dude and his girl friend (hes gay, so literally just girl friend) become my best fucking friends for the rest of the night. Jennifer and her man leave the bar and I stay with my new found companions. We have a blast talking about life and all the weird shit that happens. Due to the nature of the content, I will not be using names. But new best friends and I decide to head to this bar in Chelsea. Girlfriend used to work there so we walk straight to the bar, free drinks immediately. We're then directed behind these big closed doors, just the owner and the three musketeers. I think, "oh shit, i know where this is going". The past hiccups of my life remind me all too well of what is about to go down. All the sudden the disco dust is all over the bar with dollar bills rolled up and ready to go. I watch the pretty powder being cut and moved around the beautiful bar and remember the "not so good old days". I dont participate for several reasons. One being that the come down off that wack stuff is deadly. Literally. So I observe and giggle as the conversations get quicker and with more conviction. Time to head back to "reality". Suddenly, as those big doors swing open again. Im in heaven, there are white angels everywhere! Its fleet week baby, and every single NYC chick knows just what to do with that! I walk around and introduce myself to all the groups of sailors. Im like the welcoming committee. I welcome them with open arms to my city, ask if they have any questions and let them know Im here if they need anything. While doing this, Im really scoping out my victim for the night. I find him. His name is Stefan....not Steven like my dad....but "Stef'AH'n. God bless the military and whatever they do to turn men into such fine gentlemen. He courted me for the rest of the night, bought my drinks, pulled out my chair, opened the door, asked me out for dinner tonight and at the end, like a true gentlemen, sent me on my way, ALONE, and paid the cabbie to get me home safe. Im sorry, but after dealing with asshole, I totally deserved that. Went home with a huge smile on my face. And you bet your ass Im letting him take me out for dinner tonight. Im milking that gentlemen stuff for as long as I can. I lost my new best friends toward the end of the night, but I have their email so Im going to find them today. What a night....which only woke up to my Dr. at the door to take my blood at 8 AM on a Saturday morning. She thinks I have liver failure. Just another day in the life!!! Stay tuned :-)
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