Day 4: No Sugar Coating Unless its a Margarita

Im writing this blog, not for you, whoever you are, but for me. Its about honesty, its about real life and human struggles but most specifically mine. Its about waking up to reality and not sugar coating what we're afraid to look at, afraid of accepting or being. Im not writing dark, im just going to write honest. I had the worst day ever yesterday, well, relatively speaking. I remember one specific reason NYC is all about drinking, because its hard to live here! And although I've never lived in another big city, Im sure its true for Chicago, LA etc. Public transportation is annoying, being dressed well is a must, but working here...I dont care what your job is, its hard. Working is hard in general, no one works for their health, we all just have to do it. But then you add on the stresses of living in a big city, single, pretty much broke, when "good" is never good enough, it i s F'ing hard! Ive done it for 6 years and to be honest, Ill leave NY at some point, but Ill never leave the vicinity of a big city. So Im just going to have to pull up the big girl panties and deal with it. But, I did drink last night...I just wanted to be numb. I wanted instant gratification of not thinking of nor dealing with real life. Its a sissy copout and I know that. I could have easily written how I bought a pair of designer shoes with the money Im saving in "not drinking", and just left last night out, but Im not. If you're going to do something, you may as well do it 100% honest. So I did, I gave in. I didn't make out with any scary people, didn't dance on any tables, just drank until I COULDN'T FEEL FEELINGS ;-) (thats for you erin) But the good news is, todays a new day. God gave us that as a clean slate, I think anyway. So....here I go again on my own ;-)