Day 1 of Sobriety - A Homage to Uncle Fester

Saying "There is nothing to do in NYC but drink" is a bold statement. But New York City encourages drinking 24-hours a day. As a New Yorker, and if you are around my age and financial class, it's understood that everyone has less than appealing living accommodations. Your place is either a 5 story walk up, a mouse hole with one window, a fire escape (aka your "balcony"), several roommates or worse, all of the above. No one wants to hang out in my or your very tiny apt with little ventilation, curry wafting in from the downstairs Indian take out and chances of a possible heart attack on the way up the stairs. So we make plans elsewhere. Meals are a good example..with drinks of course. Picnics in the park...bring a bottle of wine! Even after races in the park we find our self running to the bar. Just the other day, a group of us did a 10K in the park, unlimited mimosas were to follow. Even if we do decide to meet at the Guggenheim for the latest exhibit, its 99% followed by cocktails. I think you're getting my drift.... All you can drink and eat for $20 is not at all difficult to find for a Sunday brunch. This Sunday a friend, Serina and I decided to meet for brunch, catch-up and discuss our lives and of course the latest gossip. Following what turned into a 4-hour brunch, we stumbled into a nearby restaurant that I frequent sounded like a great idea. It was beautiful here in NYC and we just wanted to be out and enjoy it! What followed: more friends, tequila shots and drinks. We went thru 3 bar tenders and a bands full set, which got fuzzy around "Pour Some Sugar on Me." Around this same time, in walks Uncle Fester wearing glasses. For SOME reason, I decided to take a liking to him and proceed to make out with him at the restaurant bar like a 21 year old for the remainder of the evening. The proceeding are the text messages the next morning from my new "friend:" Me – I don’t remember your name but for some reason I have your glasses..(what…??) Him – Can you please bring them to me…(address follows) Me – Umm, no and Im far away Him – Far away? I need those glasses!! Why did you take them??? Me – Why did you put your shit in my bag???? Him – You took them off the shelf outside! I leave for Conn today for my aunts funeral!! Don’t go psycho on me!! wow, ur a real peach. He sort of got me with the funeral thing….hes coming to pick them up from me tomorrow. Perfect :-/

It is because of my new bald fondness that I have decided to go sober for 3 FULL weeks. For the next 3 weeks, I am going to attempt to live my life as per usual in NYC.....sober. Stay tuned....